What is wrong with the Eritrean Diaspora?
February 05, 2013 by Tesfai Yitbarek

Sociological studies have not been used in analyzing the present day situation in our Eritrean Diaspora social behavior. If true what is commonly used reason to give a cause to the different social behaviors of our Diaspora is the lack of sufficient schooling and poverty at home or may be despair. To give a reason to our failure in a competitive ability in our new homes (countries where we live as refugees or migrants), also are generally lack of prior-training and failure to be independent in our outlook.

I am trying to come to a logical assessment or may be a conclusion to the situation we are in to date, if possible,. It looks very difficult to find a ready-made answer to the problems in our country in general, without knowing what went wrong with our Diaspora population in particular, and my problem lies in this piece of jigsaw and the lack of a logical assessment from fellow Eritreans in the past. As for me starting to ask myself ……as to what went wrong with me and the social group I used to mingle with the last 30 years; in itself is a big dilemma, however I can find a simple excuse to keep myself wondering. I will try to construct a scenario of a simple social gathering in my neighborhood I experienced in the week end.

Imagine your self in an evening when you were told that a distant family is deceased, it could be your close family member you used to call her aunty. You knew her very well and at times visited her home and drank tea or coffee with her in the afternoon.
Suddenly, people call you in the weekend and tell you the sad story ….the death of your aunty.
It is shocking and you want to know how she died; was she ill? for how long and so on, and to get the correct answer you look for people whom you think they will tell you the cause of her death or even for how long has she been treated for.
The second step is to look for your phone book and call the daughter or may be her son in the nearest country in your continent or if you are lucky in the same country you live in. So you arrange a meeting with her daughter or son to give your Sincere Condolences and start buying the things you need to take to the daughter… of the late aunty or her son in some cases.
Arriving there you are overwhelmed by the number of Eritreans giving comfort for your family members who are gathered in remembrance of your aunty. Coming from outside it is not easy to start mixing with, but it is a social obligation to greet them and you greet every body and take your sit when summoned to sit on one of the chairs arranged for the solemn evening. Having made your self comfortable, you start to ask what was the cause of her death and when was she buried and so on. Myself being shy, it would have been nice if few people were there and people whom I would like to share things with. However you are confronted with the notion…Approach and Avoidance of Emotional Faces in Happy and Sad Mood situation.
In my case I started to strain myself with only the approach/avoidance situation and forgot the death of my dear aunty for a couple of minutes. Why all this behavioral dilemma?
The reason is obvious, we all have one common topic these days and that is …….the Forto Tsezerat…. happenings on January 21 this year by young Eritrean soldiers who tried to announce the peoples’ demand through Eri-TV. And some people were curios as to know how I reacted on that very day when I heard the news. I was very careful and calculating with my views and then came what I feared most.
`The opposition group, Ethiopia and American CIA have done this….and that….`were pronounced by some women as if they were themselves in Tsezerat at that time
or some kind of security agents.

Well my fear and anxiety came to life due to my unwillingness to be involved in the discussion, because I knew I went there to give my condolence and not to have anger management in a group therapy. I would prefer not to use the jargon of Psychology 101… but it is more the behavior of the gathering that stroke me most and I hope the reader will forgive me for it.

Long-term exposure to war and postwar stressors caused serious psychological consequences in civilian women, with PTSD being only one of the disorders in the wide spectrum of posttraumatic reactions. Postwar stressors did not influence the prevalence of PTSD but they did contribute to the intensity and number of posttraumatic symptoms. Physiological consequences of Post war trauma and post war social stressors in Bosnia Herzegovina……Miro Klarić,1 Branka Klarić,2 Aleksandra Stevanovic,3 Jasna Grković,4 and Suzana Jonovska4.

I have laid down some common problems that a society can be indulged in or forced to be in an uncomfortable situation and not been able to live in a stable situation but try to deny what it were supposed to be in a challenging situation.
When and at what stage do we reach the state of denial? …in denial= in a state of refusing to believe something that is true…. and when does in denial help? .Denial is a coping mechanism that gives you time to adjust to distressing situations — but staying in denial can interfere with treatment or your ability to tackle challenges.. by Mayo Clinic staff.

I had always the assumption that during the independence war most of the young fighters were suffering with a war trauma and later may be…they may be confronted with a Post war traumatic problems. What would it be if someone suffers from a Post war trauma? Is it only individual case or could the whole population of a certain country that has experienced several conflicts in a length of time would also suffer equally?

Association of torture and other potentially traumatic events with mental health outcomes among populations exposed to mass conflict and displacement……experience Post war trauma:

Imagine a young family, just married and having a baby on the way, or even a newborn, even two maybe. They are happy, loving and sanguine. Everything looks promising, but suddenly comes the disaster—the war, mobilization, battles, resettlement; the wheel fortune is off and at the next turn it comes crashing people and peoples. Ludmila Petranovskaya writes in her blog………………
bears & vodka writes..

It reminded me of the new year speech by PIA and no short of personality disorder !
I am certain when we listened to his speech or his interview, we would wonder why he contradicted with his old promises and manner of talking. Isaias Afewrki as recalled by his mom in Khartoum in the early eighties …` he was a difficult child in the first place` and his personality disorder has shown signs at his early age. It is no wonder that in the early 70ties he was hiding his disorder as a genuine leader but his volatile behavior might have low lying mental illness.
In general, having a personality disorder means you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking and behaving no matter what the situation. This leads to significant problems and limitations in relationships, social encounters, work and school and In some cases, you may not realize that you have a personality disorder because your way of thinking and behaving seems natural to you, and you may blame others for the challenges you face………………….
Here we go again ; that is what people close to him have been telling us decades ago, but the question is what was the reason that most of us did not want to believe such observations when it comes…to the Copo’s behavior. Did he pretend or have we been blinded by an unknown factor. For example .. soul-loss, “Soul-loss” can occur when there is a quest for power or control over another. In practicing these strategies of control over others we end up functioning from outside ourselves.

I was watching the other day a You tube from…. tomscoft.com……. Human vs Rat: The Maze Challenge………………………………….
whereby Michele loses the contest in The Maze due to a lot of traffic hurdles while the rat reaches the destination and got it reward, as always motivated to get it. If you allow me I think we are in a race against time but in a very difficult challenge as in the rat & the maze.

PS:

.Cognitive behavioral therapy can be a very helpful tool in treating mental illnesses such as anxiety or depression. But, not everyone who benefits from cognitive behavioral therapy has a mental health condition. It can be a very effective tool to help anyone learn how to better manage stressful life situations and for that we need a Cognitive behavioral therapy the least.
It might help us recognize our way of thinking and the causes of our anxiety and symptoms of our problems in politics and social interaction, as people and from the same makeup. May be we need a shrink to help us with a psychotherapy that includes group discussions or individual counseling to work through our ordeal. It ain’t easy to come to the real world if we are in such a difficult ..a maze.