Fetsum: A potentially strong new Eritrean Soccer Team from the ruling party
Fetsum: A potentially strong new Eritrean Soccer Team from the ruling party As you know, Eritrea cannot be the only country without a national soccer team. The issue has now become the regime’s priority for image
Fetsum: A potentially strong new Eritrean Soccer Team from the ruling party
As you know, Eritrea cannot be the only country without a national soccer team. The issue has now become the regime’s priority for image and rumor says that high level meetings have been conducted to create a team out of the politicians and sympathizers abroad. Hard work pays and the new team composed of the best Eritrean brains is already in action in Asmara, keen observers say.
Practice is said to have been secretly going on in the city during night hours and under tight security and everything looks good at this point in time. The final lineup is not officiated yet but the following individuals will try to impress the world in soccer in the name of our country.
1) Tekle Manjus because of his far sighted mentality
2) Semere because of his unusually big scull useable for scaring away opponents
3) Wedi Gerahtu because of his perfectly crafted head for testata
4) Wuchu for his dedication to follow instructions
5) President Afwerki
6) Wedi Efrem the slick for his remarkable tactics of survival
7) Girma Asmerom because his experience and faking ability
8) Usman because of his unusual leg-movement capacity on the dance floor
9) Hagos Kisha because of his physical structure
10) Suleiman Salim beats Belay Nega from the Diaspora
11) Girmai Santim because of speed and unconditional conformism
Analysis
In forming the Eritrean soccer team from within the government circle, one suggests that Girma Asmerom can do his damage in the offensive field like he used to do it for the Ethiopian national soccer team back in the days. Unfortunately, the president would not let him join the team because of jealousy issues attached with Girma’s outdated popularity. The president wants to be the best player of the team by hook or by crook. Finally, however, Girma has been elected to the team after president Bashir of Sudan reminded the president of the desperate situation on the ground.
With Girmai Santim and Girma Asmerom respectively in the left and right wing positions one can only wonder who should be in the center to enhance this opportunity. Wedi Efrem the slick cannot continue distributing the ball in his position without a strong central presence for the entire game. This is where Usman the dancer comes in: Usman is ready to handle the job but only if he can stay away from boozing at least a day before the games. Eritrea cannot tolerate wobbling legs in the center and Usman being an expert in it under the pressure of alcohol chances are he will be vulnerable to NYLON (a ball passing through the legs of a player) to the embarrassment of the nation unless something is done ahead of time. The good news is that Usman is now said to be placed in rehabilitation program under the president’s personal counseling beginning next week to control his alcohol addiction until the next African matches are over. I suggest that he should also be made to attend AA meetings to make a difference in the team.
With the big headed Semere and Wedi Gerahtu in both ends of defense Wuchu is expected to play a big role in his position. But what would happen with the president in number 5 position? Analysts have so far suffered a hard time thinking about it let alone seeing him play for the team: one of them almost had a heart attack on the news. The concern is directed not to his physical ability but against his natural tendency to bullism, violence and lawlessness which would probably cost the national team tremendously in terms of violation induced free kicks. Remember that he slaps his workers too for a hobby. Not only that but Wedi Efrem’s recent diplomatic tour to Europe was on the president’s request for the privilege of slapping opponents should he find it necessary in the games without a foul call. This was immediately rejected, however, by unanimous vote in the meeting and he was seriously warned to control his snap.
To complicate the matter, few analysts have informed the FIFA that the short-fused president’s inclusion to the team was unacceptable because it will for the first time allow terrorism to be part of the sport. FIFA is considering the appeal while Eritrea has expressed its right to use any citizen in the lineup. I am sure FIFA will surrender because it cannot imagine going toe to toe with the most obstinate president in Africa on this.
As for the number 9 position, the president was ready to take it but he backed down when he was told that a player cannot have two positions in a game. As a result, he has given Hagos Kisha this position because of his potential to scare the opponents especially if he is conditioned to add some more weight through excessive dieting arrangement during the preparation period. The brother cooperated happily, is currently stuffing himself to explosion for the challenge and is expected to blow up close to 300 pounds a week before the games start. I remind him to take maximum advantage of the X-Mass season for better result and I am sure he at least knows this very well based on how intensely observers saw him downing food during the last Thanks Giving Day. .
For number 10, the president has wisely considered a player from the Diaspora in order to make the team all inclusive and it seems like Belay Negga was elected for this position initially, though, he was disqualified in the end because of bad mouthing in response to another person’s opinion in the forum and a serious revelation about himself: check this out;
belay nega to someone in the forum: ““እንዳ ዋጋየ ዓድዋ ዲኻ ዝበልካ፤ ዘይምፍላጥ ክንደይጠቂሙካ” እንዳ ሜስ ምፍላጥ እንታይ ሚስጢር አለዎ?”
MightyEmbasoyra: “Who is this ዋጋየ? Was it kind of famous for something?”
belay nega: “Who is this ዋጋየ? She is a cousin to Medhin Berad.”
Comment: Brother Belay Negga appears to have consciously or unconsciously liberated himself from the bondage of worshiping the dictator and I congratulate him for that but I regret he is no longer with the team, nor can he go to Eritrea any longer for his offense. Whether the situation makes Belay part of the resistance is yet to be seen but he has become one by default logic!
Belay did another mistake for his disqualification: check this out;
belay nega: “Dear Mighty “Ato Belay,You know a lot of stuff” Knowing about the [ሜስ] sisters for an asmarino,is like knowing about the Koke brothers to an American.I mean is not a big deal.”
Comment: The coach president did not appreciate the extent of Belay’s knowledge of ENDA MESAT and the “SISTERS” in that industry who were unfortunately condemned to prostitution because of poverty. He also bragged about it as an Asmariono. The revelation raised a question on the brother’s obsession with MESS, a dangerous stuff in SPORT that agitated the ANTI-ALCOHOL president to the point of anger. The disturbing question was how often he used to visit enda MESS and at what expense he engaged with the “SISTERS” in there when he was in Asmara? The very ethical president simply could not take all this crap about Belay and simply chose to eliminate him from the team and restrict him from the country at large.
For now, the extra bright brother Suleiman Salim is on the roaster for that position just for his outstanding concept of freedom and for impressing the president through the following intelligent comments;
Suleiman Salim on: “semiEka do Truly, Meles Zenawi Arifu”.
Suleiman Salim: “Where does Vaccaro stand? Vaccaro is a useless aregit Ewala. It doesn’t matter where he stands.”Coaching: This position has been reserved to the president who is keenly trying to impress the world in organizing at least a potent soccer team in Africa if not a functional government. He is also taking anger management classes to impress the UN out of the SANCTION for improving his behavior in that psychological area. He even did not have time to attend the Mandela event in South Africa because of overworking on the team.
Cheer-leading: Eritrea is trying to divert the attention of opponent players by assembling the best citizenss for cheer-leading the team. It will further include few men in this group to show the world its dedication on the question of gender equality.
Rumor says that the very attractive and model looking Sofia Whatever-Mariam has been selected for this position because of her seductive smile and magnetizing looks. With few sisters in traditional KUNANO, keen observers say that the new Eritrean soccer team can make a difference if they can ululate louder than normal in the games. To make this successful, I suggest sister Sofia appears there with KUNANO hair style and good training in high-pitched ululation as well, only if the rumor that she is part of this group is correct. As for the men cheer leaders, a highly dependable informer says that Eritrea will include Yemane Charlie and Yemane Monkey in this group who will ululate dressed up in colorful skirts and get there well trained in spreading and flip-flopping before the games start to attract their viewers.
Referee: Eritrea will assemble the gorgeous Justice Minister for this position because of her admirable concept of fairness. There are only 10,000 political prisoners without due trial in the country after all and this amazing record finally paid off making her the only referee representing our country in the coming African games.
In conclusion the practice goes on and everything is in schedule. The team has agreed to the president’s condition that he must be the first player to score a goal for the Eritrean team during the games and that every player must concentrate on making this a reality rather than trying to steal the show (the president’s eyes bulged out emotionally addressing this issue to the team as the players accepted without a reaction). The mood in Asmara remains very optimistic about the development and people are excited and talking about it everywhere.
Mary Christmas and see you soon
Suleiman Salim December 19, 2013
Fitsum,
I kept smiling while reading your piece. Thanks for including me in your team. By now I must be famous all over the world.
azmad keynKewn sg’at aloni!!!
belay nega December 19, 2013
Brother Fitsum,
Finally you realized that Eritrean issue is ugly, and thanks God , you giving up politics, for FTSUM’S LATE SHOW.
All the hallucination, is about the answer I gave to your statement VACCARO verses MANDELA’S funeral. I am sorry for revealing the weakness of your common sense, and eventually made smile your ever challenger Petros,. The rest is a cover up.
Mastering English, does not make you knowledgeable about Eritrean issue. Our problem is deep rooted, and Ethiopians, the cause of all this mess in Eritrea, do not have neither personal hatred, nor crush, with any Eritrean including the president, but a big reservation towards our issue.
To this end, a long lasting solution can be achieved only, by addressing and answering properly their question
marsa December 19, 2013
Belay if you know the issue why you don’t tell us then we can see is there is solution.
belay nega December 19, 2013
“Belay if you know the issue why you don’t tell us then we can see is there is solution.”
ኢትዮጵያውያን ባሕሪ ክስእኑ ዓይኖም ምዕማት ዘየሰከፎም
ባሕሪ ንምርካብ ዓይኖም ምኽፋት ዝስክፉ አይመስለንን
MightyEmbasoyra December 19, 2013
Ato Belay,
Wouldn’t agree with them (Ethiopians) if they work very hard for their interest? The question is why aren’t we? I truly believe that isayas is not working for our interest. On the contrary, it seems he is working for Ethiopia’s interest.
MightyEmbasoyra December 19, 2013
meant “wouldn’t you agree”
Suleiman Salim December 20, 2013
There is something wrong with you. ab lbKa temeles: Hdri swu’at aHwatka aKbr::
belay nega December 20, 2013
Dear Mighty
“Wouldn’t agree with them (Ethiopians) if they work very hard for their interest?”
Is not a matter of agreement or disagreement,is about the reality.And unfortunately, the price they asking for, is very expensive.
marsa December 19, 2013
You mean any problem in Eritrea is coming from south of our botder.
SAVING YOUNG ERITREANS December 19, 2013
ዝኸበርኩም መንእሰያት ኤርትራ፣
ካብተን ግጥምታተይ ሓንቲ ፈቲሸ ረኺበያ፣ምንም እኳ ፖለቲካዊ መልእኽቲ እንተሃለዋ ንድጐዓ መንእሰያት ኤርትራ ኢላ ዝተጻሕፈትን ሮማንቲካዊ ድማ ስለ ዝኾነት ሓደራ መዘከርታይ ትኹንኩም።ኣብቲ ሮማንቲካውን ሕብረተሰባውን ሸነኻ ጥራይ ኣድህቡ።እቲ ካልእ መልእኽታ ደስ ከየብል ስለ ዝኽእል።
ሓወቦኹም
“እቲ ናይ ጥፍኣት ዝናብ ክቕጽል ዩ”
ምስ ኣቦይን_____ ኣደይን ኣሓተይን ነቢረ
ኩዕሶ ተጻዊተ____እንዳ ላተርያታት ተዛዊረ
ብጎረባብቲ፣ወዲ ዞም ብሩኻት ተባሂለ ተኸቢረ
እንዳሽወደን፣ኣግኣዝያን፣ቀይሕ ባሕሪ ተማሂረ
ናይ ሓሙሽተ ሻሂ፣ናይ ዓሰርተ እምበቲቶ ደኪረ
ኣብ ከተማይ ኣስመራ፣ፍቕርን ስኒትን ዝሰፈረ
ብሰንኪ ሸፋቱ ኤርትራ፣ተዘርገ፣ኮነ፡ከም ዘይነበረ።
ከመይ ኮን ትህሉ እታ ናይ ሽዑኡ ጎረቤተይ
ኣፍሮ ምሻጦኣ፣ዘምክኽ፣ንሮማንቲክ ሰውነተይ
ብሕቡእ የጸውዓ ኔረ___ብንእሽተይ ሓውተይ
ንቺነማ ሮማ፣ፊልሚ ህንዲ ኣሞረ መትዓብይተይ
ጸልማት ተኸሊለ ክስዕማ፣ንውቅብቲ ፍቅርተይ
ንሳ ከም በቕሊ ቐሺ፣ፈዚዛ, ትጥምት ኣዒንተይ
ነዚላ ጓል ሰብ ይብል፣ንባዕለይ ጠፊኡ ሃለዋተይ
ትዝ ኢሉኒ ብህድኣትን ፍቕርን ዝጀመረ ንእስነተይ
ኣይጸንሔን፣ብሰንኪ ሸፋቱ ተገደድኩ ናብ ስደተይ ።
ነጻነት እናበዝሓኒ_______ተጨቍንካ ኢኻ ኢሎም
ብፋናቲክ ሃገራት ኣዕራብ______ ባጤራ ዝለገሳሎም
መጥፍኢ ሂወትና_____ኣቡዓሸራ ካላሽን ተላእከሎም
የሚን፣ሸሚን፣ኣጥላዕ____በሉ መንነቶም ኣብሊሎም
ገባር ዝጨውዩ፣ጓል ዝዕምጹ ድሙ ድሙ ተኾልኵሎም
ተስዓን ሓደን ኣተዉ___ ባንዴራ ባርነት ኣንበልቢሎም
መሳኪን መንእሰያት ሃገረይ__ኣቦታቶም ብዝዘርኡሎም
ብበደዊን ተጎምቢሖም ይግበሩ፣ ወዶም ____ ጓሎም
ጽሓርቲ ሓዊ፣ኣሜሪካ፣ኢሩፕ፣ጅዳ ስድርኦም ጠቕሊሎም
ሂወተይ ዘዕነወ፣ዘይረብሕ ኣዕናዊ ናይ ሽፍትነት ገድሎም
ንኣሽቱ እውን ከጽንት ዩ _____ካብ ሱሮም ክነቕሎም !!!!
ከመይ ከሪማ ___________እዛ ከዛብ ሃገር
ታሪኽ ሰኒዓ____________ህዝባ እተዳናግር
ጽልኢ ተመሲሓ__________ሓሶት እትድረር
ሃብቲ ኤርትራውያን____ ካብ ትግራይ ናብ ሃረር
ሽዋ ሰንጢቑ ___________ ጎምጎፋ ዝሳገር
ረኺባ ስኢናቶ_ስለ ዘይውሃሃዳ ናይ ክብረት ነገር
ገድሊ፣ገደል ኣእትይዋ___ብሽፍትነት ዘኢትነገር
ሙሶሊኒ ተስእ፣ክትልግሰላ ስፓገቲ፣ብካልቾ ዝውገር
ዓመት ያ እንተጸንሔት___ክትፋናጣሕ ያ እዛ ፈገር
መንእሰይ ሞትካ ተጸበ_ወይ ብጥሜት ወይ ብዓረር
ኣሕርእቲ ወሊዶምኻ ______እንታይ ሞ ክግበር ??????????
Uncle SAVING YOUNG ERITREANS
ER ITRAWIT December 20, 2013
SYE,
I can tell you the answer for you two paragraph nothing from what you left all gone nebere neber eu koynu zelo Uncle. but the rest well God is great who knows.
SAVING YOUNG ERITREANS December 21, 2013
ERITRAWIT,
It is good you are still involved in finding solution, think outside the box & do not be scared to say the truth.
My respect.
marsa December 19, 2013
Only idiots and the enemy of mother land will be happy to read your poems, by theway how much money do you get paid to write this thrush.
SAVING YOUNG ERITREANS December 21, 2013
Marsa ,
My intention was to share the romantic part only ,however I could not put only that without compromising the whole message .Just take the romantic part.
And nobody pays me to educate the young people.
thank you
tesfaldet December 20, 2013
one thing is for sure they will be strong teame no one can beat they proof it when they KIK WEYANES ASS in the battilfild & make the opposition runing scared
Said December 20, 2013
Mr. fitsum great article, and it’s funny, but the game over before you but
Yourself in it, 3_0
Said December 20, 2013
Mr. fitsum great article, and it’s funny, but the game over before you but
Yourself in it, sudan 3 Eritra_0.an it’s ben a while since I made comment, happy holiday.united against dictator.