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BREAKING THE “VICIOUS CYCLE” OF RESENTMENT

BREAKING THE “VICIOUS CYCLE” OF RESENTMENT By Haben Zeray (Those of us who believed in common sense diplomacy have been advocating the need to forge peace, simply because the Eritrean and Ethiopian people can benefit from each

BREAKING THE “VICIOUS CYCLE” OF RESENTMENT

By Haben Zeray

(Those of us who believed in common sense diplomacy have been advocating the need to forge peace, simply because the Eritrean and Ethiopian people can benefit from each other if they can create a process that heals the wounds inflicted on both sides in the last 50 years.  I posted this article last year on Assenna and I feel it fits our times to repeat with some minor modifications).   

I once heard a wise man say, “Bitterness is a poison pill you take-in and expect the other guy (enemy) to die from it”.   Well, if you take the pill you will die from it, guaranteed!  Bitterness is like the root of a tree buried inside, and manifests itself by the words you utter, the actions you take, the stress you feel or the opportunities you miss .

Bitterness can be very destructive to individuals, communities and countries.

For example, Eritreans have reasons to be bitter.  We have been betrayed for many generations, namely by Italians and the British, we were indiscriminately massacred by Ethiopians (Haile Seleassie), Menghistu Haile Mariam (1960-1991),  and now independent Eritrea lacks freedom because of its military dictatorship.  Eritreans have every reason to be resentful.   For generations we have been betrayed, and this betrayal have created bitterness, and unless we deal with betrayal and resentment, we may end up self-destructing both as individuals and as a nation.  As stated above, bitterness is a poison pill you take expecting the opponent to die from it, however, whomever takes the pill dies.  For the sake of the Eritrean people and for the sake of the Ethiopian group who are also mired in resentment, we must devise a plan to break this destructive vicious cycle of resentment. And I hope Ethiopians realize this hurtful cycle as well and want to heal themselves.

In the past 12 years the Issayas government has been stuck in the vicious cycle of  resentment against Ethiopia. and is having debilitating effect on  the Eritrean people and economy.  The PFDJ repeated statements have been, not to have any negotiation with Ethiopia on the issue of Badime, and has put the nation in a military alert for over 12 years. I have heard many of the arguments against making peace with Ethiopia.  The pre-requisites and conditions of abiding by the “Badime” ruling has been repeated by PFDJ and its supporters.    Eritreans have sacrificed a lot.  But I want to ask those who refuse to talk, what do we do next?  What options do we have?  Should we continue to suffer and continue this road of stalemate? The consequences of refusal to talk, I believe have hurt us more than Ethiopia.  Here are some of the reasons why I think we are hurting more:

a)      Port of Assab could have been a source of hundreds of millions  of dollars per year, instead we are suffering from  unemployment and poverty, while our neighbor Djibouti is reaping the benefit of our “bitterness”. Why should we suffer?

b)      The people of Eritrea are separated from the people of Ethiopia in all aspects.  PFJD and EPRDF have let their political differences to create walls among the people.  Thousands of Eritreans who have families are separated and are not able to enjoy family life.  Some have likened Eritrea and Ethiopia to N. Korea and S. Korea respectively.  Eritreans can’t even make telephone contacts to their children who reside in Ethiopia. Why shouldn’t the civilian Eritreans be able to have contact with their own families who are mostly an average one-hour flight away from them?

c)      In underdeveloped countries like Eritrea human aresources  is the main asset and its people are the future hope for development.  PFDJ or the government of Eritrea does not seem to care when thousands of capable and many educated Eritreans are leaving the country.  Most are now making their ways to Ethiopia. Why shouldn’t  Eritrea be a welcome home for its own citizens?

d)     PFDJ have used the walls that got created in the late 1990’s  to become an excuse to put Eritrean youth and even the elderly on military alert; while the Ethiopian government is having a field day welcoming the able-bodied and military fit Eritreans to their country.  The result is going to make Ethiopia stronger while Eritrea weaker.  Of course the GOE leadership will not agree with this assessment.  They may not realize it but President Issayas and his followers are laughing themselves to death.  The policies of  PFDJ work against the interests of  Eritreans and are going to be suicidal for the leadership. Does PFDJ care about its own citizens leaving the country? Why don’t they create an inviting environment for Eritrean citizens to stay in their own country?

e)      For an Eritrean merchant it is natural and easy to trade with Ethiopians.  Most Eritreans know the country, they can relate with the citizens and have a commanding understanding of Ethiopian culture and marketing strategy.  Eritreans should make peace with Ethiopia and open the door for trade with Ethiopia.  What is wrong with giving Ethiopians tourist visas to visit Eritrea and vice versa?

Resentment is destructive and costly.  We must break this vicious cycle whether the Eritrean leadership works on it or not.  Even though the government of Eritrea have opted not to start the road to dialogue, the people, especially those in Diaspora are subtly co-mingling with the people.  There are more Eritreans visiting Ethiopia in 2012 than any other year in the last 12 years.  For many Eritreans, Ethiopia has become the vacation destination.  Thousands of Eritreans have made Ethiopia their temporary home now by crossing the border.

I believe Eritreans are tired of wars, rumors of wars and they are also tired of being ruled by military dictatorship that cares more for the dead than the living.  Eritreans are starving for peace.  They want peace in their homes, they want normal family life where teen-agers are not separated from their homes prematurely.  Eritreans do not want to be alienated from the rest of the world and especially from their neighbor countries and want peace so that they can trade and travel freely.

The point I am trying to make is the need for dialogue with Ethiopia is a must in order to complete the process for peace. PFDJ and its chairman have the responsibility to work out ways to implement by further negotiating with Ethiopia, for the best interest of both countries.  When you resolve a conflict it is never “my way or the highway” resolution.  It has always been, how can I get what I want by giving what they want.     All Conflict Resolution Models (CRM) suggest that, in order to resolve a conflict, you must have a concern for self, and at the same time you must have a concern for others.   In our case, the Eritrean government  is not even willing to sit and discuss.  In my opinion this stand-off is the “ poison  pill” that is killing us.

While the brave Eritrean military performed their jobs superbly, the leadership of the Eritrean government has chosen a hard-liner policy that does not solve the current crisis.   The government of Eritrea has the responsibility to negotiate for the best interest of its citizens. The government defiance has worked to go against the welfare of its own people. The consequence right now is many Eritreans are taking matters into their hands and are beginning to speak out and ignore their stubborn government.  We must think “outside the box” and break the “vicious cycle of war and rumors of wars” and forge peace with our neighbor.  Eritreans and Ethiopians will benefit from this and can be done.

I understand time is of the essence in our quest for peace for Eritrea.  I believe the “youth” of Eritrea are the hope who can bring the dignity that all Eritreans deserve, a democratic process that the people desire, and peace and reconciliation within ourselves and with our neighbors.

Concluding remarks:

We need to learn from history.  In a war situation everybody is a looser.  No one wins.  Even the super-powers with all their technological might have a hard time winning a war. Peace is only achieved when  “enemies” sit on the table and mediate for peace.

Talking about reconciliation is a complicated subject in a country setting, because the wounds that were inflicted on both sides are still fresh. As neighbors though I believe we need to learn to step aside from politics and make business decisions. We need to set aside our emotions and use our intellects and become rational.   The options now are either we continue this road of a non-ending tantrums and bitterness, or we break this resentful vicious cycle and choose the road of healing the wounds and ultimately achieve peace. Are Ethiopians capable for bringing more misery to Eritrea and keep us from developing? Yes, they can. Can Eritreans do the same to Ethiopians? Yes, we can.  But to go this road is to choose death, destruction, poverty and ignorance.  We must be courageous enough to stand for peace and achieve healthy living, economic development and respect among ourselves and with our neighbors.  I applaud those who have already started this process.  Ethiopian and Eritrean churches are praying to God (as we must) for peace in our countries.  Eritrean university students and professors are now collaborating with their Ethiopian students and professors to bring understanding with the two brotherly people.  We have began to see “light at the end of the tunnel”.   Ethiopian leaders during this current administration have shown the need to move forward and forge peace with Eritrea. We should respond in kind.  Let’s remember peace starts within each one of us.

aseye.asena@gmail.com

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99 COMMENTS
  • ali May 3, 2013

    Very smart and intellectually analysed idea. ‘ there is no winner in any war’ everybody is a loser, you lose people, time, money, structure….may be the people who have planned war are the winner…they will stay in power or they want to see people suffer that is their agenda. we have no enemy as a whole people, may be we have some individuals but not the whole population. We Eritrean,Ethiopian and Sudanese, American, Nigerian…name them all are our friends. may be few politicians but that is their problem.We have to smart and diplomt if not if we fellow our emotions which is directed by politicians we are committing succide. Believe me, people are always nice, we love and respect Ethiopians and they do the same . Specially at this challenging time We are very greatful to Ethiopia and Sudan, they have kept our hundreds of thousands eritrean in their country as a refugee . Wake up guys dont be racist! and emotional but use ur brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ghezai May 3, 2013

    Belay
    there is no poletics in eritrea one
    men only run the contry .poletics is you have to
    express your ideas

  • Asmarino May 3, 2013

    We are not fool enough to trade your vampire merchants who take fake Ethiopian ID’s and engage in only to Ethiopian busineses with your Assab port. No Djiboutian come to work because Ethiopia uses the port. NO we dont want to see Eritrea to be coffee exporter. Every echlons of business power is run by Ethiopians who invest back in every corner of Ethiopia. No we dont want a brainwashed ascaris to profit from the people whom he despise most and send his money back to stab Ethiopia. Your best status is as a tourist or refugge. We dont want a pre 98 type of agreement. We prey that you get the all you dream of and get treated like a foreigner. We pray the No peace No War stays till you understand how dot your nation is and how strong influential our Ethiopia is and will be: No resentment to you guys from Ethiopia we just wish you get all what you want. After all your differnent from us.

    • belay nega May 3, 2013

      Good answer, to those who are pointing fingers to the PRESIDENT.
      No ethiopian support our freedom,they hate us to death.I do not blame them.

  • aba-chegora May 3, 2013

    Haben i fully agree with you, unfortunately, th eritrean leadership is protracting the no-war no-peace situations (by refusing dalogue) helps them to prolong their stay on power.

  • tef May 3, 2013

    I think Assenna website is belong to woyane. the article and comments are writes from Tigray the same like Aiga forum (tigray website).

  • Semhar May 3, 2013

    The mad dog ድያብሎስ! Isayas is a dropout from Haile Selassie University. He only lasted one semester.
    The mad dog Isayas is 100% Ethiopian.
    His father is from Tembien, Tigray, Ethiopia and his mother from Adwa, Tigray, Ethiopia.
    He was sent by Asrate Kasa the former Governer of Eritrea and by his uncle Degezmach Solomon Abreha, former governor of Wollo province of Ethiopia to dissolve the Eritrean Liberation Front.
    He dissolved E.L.F in 1980.
    He dissolved E.P.L.F in 1993 and replaced them by his own blind organization HIGDEF.
    He took down The Eritrean Liberation flag in 1993 and replaced it by his own burned flag.
    He dissolved the historical Eritrean provinces in 1993 and replaced them by his own Zobas.
    He dissolved the historical law of the land “HIGHI INDABA” “Eritrean constitution” and replaced it by his own MAFIA Law.

    2013, the mad dog Isayas has a new mission,
    1) To sacrifice Eritreans in the war against Ethiopia by siding with Egypt.
    2) To sell Eritrean people’s organ by collaborating with Egypt.

    Unlike the mad dog Isayas the Eritrean People will always be on the side of Ethiopia, Rwanda, Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania’s signed agreement in Entebbe, Uganda, to overturn a colonial-era treaty seeking a more reasonable and equitable utilization of the river.

    As long as Isayas and HIGDEF are in Eritrea misery and death will continue.
    The only solution is to get rid of crazy mad dog Isayas wedi Medhin Berad, his son, and his blind followers HIGDEF just like the Libyans did to Gadafi, his sons and his followers.
    Eritreans should unite and get rid the tyrant mad dog Isayas, his son and his blind followers the HIGDEF.

    • Genet May 3, 2013

      Semhar
      Thanks!
      Well said!
      Genet

  • Wedi Mekonnen May 3, 2013

    Haben,

    In my opinion a matured article that sheds light to those in confusion. Not sure whether they are the majority or not, but the internet if full of many uniformed and vulgar Eritreans and Ethiopians and good to see balanced views like this.

    The resentment is so radicalized that it has become common to see those who are bold to face the truth labelled as ‘Woyanes’ from either side. The immature fellows dwell on nothing but on empty bravado, race, and land issues and promote fascistic attitudes! Isayas is a failure who caused tremendous damage to Eritreans and Ethiopians but what does his origin has to do with this as some under disguised name are trying to put it? What does his failure has to do with his son or his mother?

    I have some comments though and just to face the truth and the whole truth.

    1) This one general and not related to you. Whether the Border Commission ruled Badme or other parts for Eritrea or Ethiopia, I think what many Eritreans and Ethiopians could not grasp is that neither any ad-hoc Commission nor any UN body can impose its decisions on any sovereign country.

    2) In the end does Eritrea or Ethiopia need more than what belonged to them? I think not. For this was a Border Commission was even necessary? It can be yes nor but can’t that be easily determined by which areas were were under Italy and which under Ethiopia? Ignoring everything else, can’t elders tell this truth from both sides of the border?

    3) You mentioned the brave Eritrean military performed their jobs superbly. But is there a need to be brave where there was no need to be? After all was there bravery where almost the entire Barka was lost on western front and TPLF troops advanced beyond Senafe on central fronts? As many wise Eritreans and Ethiopians put it, the motive of PFDJ in igniting the war was wrong and Woyane had a real cause so the war was lost! This does not mean Woyane won a war against the Eritrean people as much as EPLF and TPLF didn’t win wars against Ethiopia or the Ethiopian people during the years of the liberation struggle. Both wars wars were/are against ‘ill-minded’ and undemocratic leaderships!

    4) You mentioned, the current Ethiopian leaders want forge peace with Eritrea. But let’s not save face. To the best of our knowledge this has already been there and what was blocking the whole process was PFDJ’s rigid stand.

    I have not heard that university teachers and students on both sides have begun academic dialogues but if this is real, I think it is is a great beginning!

    I like your concluding statement that peace starts within each one of us and let’s move on.

    Best.

  • Kabbire May 3, 2013

    Ali writes:”Wake up guys dont be racist! and emotional but use ur brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Are you kidding? You want me to kiss the stinko Arabs while they rape, murder and sell Eritreans to slavery?
    Are you expecting Eritreans to like the bastard Arab regimes in Egypt, Libya and Sudan … add yemen, Djbouti ?
    Are you truly an African or another Arab wanabe Abid like Issaias? Did you listen to these cries of Eritreans in the hand of the Arabs?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aAJy4Z5qecM

    You want me to love the racist Arabs while they rape my sisters and brothers and for asking my family $35,000 US dollars for their freedom from the Arab slavery?
    why is this happening to Eritreans in the land of the bastard and savage Arabs?
    Only an Arab slave or Abeed as they call a person like you will defend the Arabs without shame.

    Eritrea’s human rights concern documents:
    1) 76 Eritrean refugees in Libya are being used to clear land mines in Sirte, the home town of the late Gaddafi. The refugees are forced all day to clear land mines. These are not trained professionals. This is not humanitarian de-mining. This is a callous, inhuman treatment of humans as if they were disposable pieces of equipment. It amounts to nothing less than murder.

    These refugees are not given access to UNHCR. It is inhuman that these refugees, who fled persecution in Eritrea, should suffer further harassment and risk being blown up while clearing the mines. The Libyans do not want to do it themselves, so they use refugees. This is barbaric and should be condemned.
    2) Over 400 Eritrean refugees have been trafficked from Sudan to Libya and involuntarily held in Ajdabiya, near Banqazi. Over 120 refugees had paid a $1,700 ransom per person before their release; the remaining 400 are held inhumanly, and those who were released report that they were starving and subjected to inhuman and degrading treatment. This could not happen in such large numbers if the Libyan government took action against it, so it can only be assumed that they are complicit.
    3) Eritrean refugees are also detained incommunicado and under harsh conditions at the following prisons:

    Salma prison (near Tripoli) – 81refugees

    Al-Khums (near Tripoli) – no numbers available

    Al-Kufra – Over 300 refugees

    Sabha – around 1,200 refugees

    Zuwara – no numbers available

  • aus 17 May 3, 2013

    Our problem is NOT ETHIOPIA, It is Isayas Afeweri, please call the spade spade, don’t go round bushs.
    Eritrea’s problems ends up with the death, or departure, or liquidation of that beast, not less nor more.
    Consider a person who owns 90-100% of Eritrea’s destruction bears 100% of the responsibilty thereby requires his absensce if Eritrea mean to breathe a fresh air for her youths and people at large.

  • KFLOM May 3, 2013

    Hei Haben
    I Like your analysis, however you forget that one hand cannot clap. Ethiopia had lastly accepted for some time now to implement the boarder commission ruling without any precondition. Isayas said no because he knows what blander he has done from starting the war to the killing of thousands of innocent Eritreans to this day.
    Isayas cannot do any harm politically nor economically now and for everEthiopia or even any other country. Ethiopia had proudly proven beyond any doubt that they can grow and prosper without access to Eritrean ports. so you must go to Ethiopia to see for your self what that country had achieved in the last ten years or more despite isaias’s destructive engagement. So at this time Eritrea is irrelevant to have any effect on Ethiopia. What is true though, is Ethiopia can benefit from future democratic Eritrea, because it can put more resources to its economy by using the man power and money that are now tied up for the army.
    So what you and me and many Eritreans should do is pick up arms to force Isayas and his dogs to relinquish power and have a democratic Eritrea that cares to its people and to the country. Peaceful change will not happen as long as Isayas and his dogs are there. It has been tried for too long. So my challenge to you and millions of brave Eritreans of all persuasions is to form a united front sooner and bring over changes by force. Now Isayas has gone farther by selling The Port of Asab to Quatar. What are we waiting for? ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

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